Guest Post: New Parenting Book: Do I Get My Allowance Before or After I’m Grounded?

Author Vanessa Van Petten tells us about her new book. Parents this is a must have book to add to your collections!

Vanessa Van Petten is the creator of RadicalParenting.com and author of the parenting book, “Do I Get My Allowance Before or After I’m Grounded?” (http://www.radicalparenting.com/books-and-products/book-youre-grounded/)

This is what Vanessa Van Petten had to say about her website and her new book.

When I was 16 I thought it was my Dad’s goal in life to make me miserable. I was convinced that he had a running list of all the ways he could embarrass me in front of my friends, trick me into doing more chores or make my curfew earlier.

Our relationship would have continued to devolve until one day I saw my Dad reading a parenting book. I flipped through it while my Dad was in the bathroom and realized a lot of the things he did that drove me crazy he was getting right out of this book! I looked at the other parenting books on our shelves and realized that they were all written by adults. I wondered—has anyone ever asked teens to write to their parents?

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9a2jw-xhTg&feature=player_embedded

I decided to build a website where teens could answer questions and write to parents called RadicalParenting.com.  I couldn’t believe how quickly it grew and how happy both teens were to get their voices out and parents were to have a new outlet for connecting with their kids! We now have over 120 teen writers who give advice.

Teenagers, when given a neutral space LOVE talking to parents and often offer some of the best insight because they are going through it themselves. We have also be so excited to help parents who feel like they cannot reach their kids and teens.

I think teens and parents can work together to overcome their differences and learn to work best together. We have just come out with our book: Do I Get My Allowance Before or After I’m Grounded and it is a radical approach to parenting because it is written from the kid’s perspective! We would love for you to check it out—if you are brave enough to see what kids have to say!

What is this book about?
So, you have to forget the old parenting book approach – this book gives parents a totally new way to reach their teenagers because it’s the only book that tweens and teens helped write – so we are hearing first-hand advice that actually works! It gets right to the heart of the problems and offers straightforward prescriptive - and effective advice. This is a very different approach to parenting that tackles these modern problems.

What makes this book different?
Before now there has only been resources written from one side of the family equation….the adults. This is the first book that gets both sides talking. What’s more, the book goes a step further by using techniques that human lie-dectectors use: What does a teenager’s face look like when they are lying? What questions do parents need to ask to get the truth?

You are not a parent, what experience helps you write this book?
Actually me not being a parent is what makes teenagers feel comfortable opening up to me about what they really need from their parents. It allows me to be a translator for what parents need, what teens need and then bringing the two together so they can be on the same side.

You are not a doctor, what experience helps you write this book?
There are already amazing resources out there from doctors and psychologists, we take a very different approach to parenting. We believe that for most families there are really simple miscommunications happening that we just need to decode. With this book, I teach parents what kids really mean when they say, “I don’t care” or “Can I have a later curfew.” This is advice from teens in the trenches of family life.

Here is what Publisher’s Weekly had to say:

“Van Petten, founder of the popular Web site RadicalParenting.com, offers parents a candid view of the contemporary teen’s world in this eye-opening text. Van Petten uses actual stories about teens and their often anxious, angry, or befuddled parents to introduce each chapter. Pointing out that she is neither a parent nor a teen (nor a doctor, therapist, or counselor), the college-grad author has nevertheless earnestly investigated her subject and includes current research on teens as well as hundreds of “real quotes, interviews, e-mails and advice from actual teens.” Van Petten explores a variety of timely subjects, including peer relationships, teen/parent communication, bullying, technology, and “risky business” (smoking, drinking, sex, and more). Her outlook on technology and “Internet savvy” is particularly incisive, emphasizing not only the hazards of “time-suck” activities (i.e., Facebook, chatting on IM, and texting) but also the many social and academic benefits of the digital universe. Like a crafty spy, Van Petten comfortably segues from parent to teen perspective, and while noting that each adolescent is unique, she skillfully opens doors to the collective teen psyche. “–Publishers Weekly.

Vanessa Van Petten is one of the nation’s youngest experts, or ‘youthologists’ on parenting and adolescents. She now runs her popular parenting website, RadicalParenting.com, which she writes with 120 other teenage writers to answer questions from parents and adults. Her approach has been featured by CNN, Fox News, and Wall Street Journal. She was also on the Real Housewives of Orange County helping the housewives with troubled teens. Her next book, “Do I Get My Allowance Before or After I’m Grounded?” is being released in September 2011 with Plume Books of Penguin USA.

(http://www.radicalparenting.com/books-and-products/book-youre-grounded/)

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Newest Teen Trends

Just when I thought I have heard it all our teenagers of today keep amazing and surprising me. The things they are doing are so crazy and dangerous. Teens have always done things without thinking of the consequences but these are way beyond what I could of imagined. What could have changed so much in our society or in our teens worlds that have made them make these choices.

First we have Vodka Eyeball Shots! I can’t imagine anyone ever even thinking of doing such a dumb thing. This must not only burn like crazy but also can cause blindness.  Think of a time when you had something on your fingers and rubbed your eyes and the burning sensation you experienced. Now think of alcohol, that has to be so awful!  Yet, they are doing this to get a quick high and there are videos of this posted all over youtube. 

Next we move on to smoking incense. They are smoking this because its legal and its cheap. It gives them a high some say similar to marijuana. Schools are not able to do anything about it because there is nothing illegal about it yet.  Two teens have been in a coma as a result of smoking this. Once again videos about this incense called K2 are all over the youtube. 

Our newest is ‘Sack Tapping” This is when boys punch, kick and slap each other in the groin area. Whoever lasts standing the longest wins. Yes, this is true and happening and attached to my full article on this is a video of boys playing the game. There isn’t anyone that has not heard forever that a boy/man getting hurt in that area causing indescribable pain, yet these boys think its fun?

I received many messages of parents telling me that they had not heard of some of the above mentioned things. This parents is scary! If parents don’t know these things exist and have not talked to their teens of the dangers of them, how many are doing it or going to today? I try really hard to stay up to date and report to you my parenting readers all the latest trends.  Join me tonight on twitter at 9 PM est with @TheCoffeeKlatch for an truly informative teen chat #TCK. Parents you can’t miss this, many of these topics and many others will be discussed. Being aware is the best defense to prevent these from happening to your teen.

To read the full articles about these trends please go to http://www.examiner.com/x-33498-Long-Island-Parenting-Teens-Examiner

Thanks for taking time to read about these important topics and I hope to see you all tonight :)

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Parents Need To Make Changes!

In the last week I have written about a teen changing his ipod song and crashing into a house and most recently two teens plotting to kill students, teachers and faculty at local schools.  These stories bring to mind once again, what is happening? Bad stories always seem to follow teens, but recently the stories seem to be much scarier. Are parents just too self absorbed with their own issues that they are not seeing what is happening to their teens? Could it be something else that is happening to our teens? These are questions that need to be answered. Thinking about the incident regarding the teens wanting to kill their fellow classmates and teachers, what will the other teens going to this school be feeling? What kind of memories will they carry with them into the future? Won’t they remember when someone threatened to possibly kill them? Won’t they be afraid to go to school? I know I would be scared to go to school and if my children went to this school I would be afraid everyday, even though these two were caught.  This could of been a much more tragic incident if someone hadn’t reported this. 

Parents let’s talk about this, please leave me your opinion on all this.

To read the articles please click here http://www.examiner.com/x-33498-Long-Island-Parenting-Teens-Examiner

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Too Much Violence!

How sad it is that I had 3 articles this past week all involving terrible teen incidents. In the one story there were two events involving teen violence in school! Yes, your reading this correctly school and not necessarily handled in a way that I think proper. In the second story a teenager on drugs smashed into a woman and killed her in her front yard. The teen had no remorse for this and even stated that the “woman was old.”  The most recent story involved a teenager walking the streets at 1:00 a.m., yes your reading this correctly a 16 year old was walking the streets and was shot. What is going on with today’s teens? Is this a parenting issue that seriously needs to be addressed or is something else going on here with these teens? Lets talk about this parents and try to find some answers before its too late.

To read the 3 articles please go to http://www.examiner.com/x-33498-Long-Island-Parenting-Teens-Examiner

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Fun With Author Nicole O’Dell GIVEAWAY HAS BEGUN!!!!

After reading Nicole’s books and writing about them I had the pleasure of interviewing this amazing author.  Instead of doing a typical interview with the same questions we can up with some fun ones and she even told two of her most embarrassing moments! I have truly enjoyed working with Nicole and look forward to reading all her future work. As promised with this interview the GIVEAWAY has now officially begun!  Nicole has been so kind with each of my reviews to giveaway a signed book and now for this interview she has graciously offered the ENTIRE series, yes that is ALL 4 books in this series to the winner! These are great books and what a generous offer by this author. So lets not let her down here and lets show her some support by joining in the fun!  To read the interview which is sure to bring a smile to your face please click here http://www.examiner.com/x-33498-Long-Island-Parenting-Teens-Examiner~y2010m4d22-Fun-With-Author-Nicole-ODell

Thank you for all your support it is always very appreciated!

As previously stated Giveaway #5 has now begun! This giveaway will end on Thursday May 6th at Midnight EST.  You can win the entire 4 book scenarios series autographed by Nicole O’Dell and you can win this by leaving me a comment below with a suggestion of a new Scenarios topic you would like to see Nicole O’Dell cover in an upcoming book.

Extra Entries can be earned by:

Becoming a Fan of Nicoles at http://www.facebook.com/nicoleodell

Subscribing to email alerts at  www.cindy-springsteen.com

Becoming a Fan of  Cindy’s Teen Advice by clicking  here http://tiny.cc/dS5ip

Following Nicole O’Dell on twitter by clicking here http://www.twitter.com/Nicole_Odell

Following me on twitter by clicking here http://www.twitter.com/CindyTeenAdvice

Tweet the following quote…(one per day)  Enter the @Nicole_Odell book #giveaways with @CindyTeenAdvice Details can be found at www.cindy-springsteen.com Please RT

As stated in 1st four giveaways if you leave a comment on each article, there are now 5 including the interview you can earn 2 extra entries on this final drawing.  Thank you again Nicole O’Dell for being so generous and good luck to everyone.

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Is Your Teen Huffing?

This is so serious and so scary! When I was younger I remember hearing about this, mainly the whipped cream cans, they called it doing whip-its. It has been a long time since I thought about this potential danger.  Then this article came past me about a young boy around my son’s age and my eyes opened wide as I read what happened and all the statistics about this going on right now. I am hoping this very important article will open many parents eyes as mine were recently opened. Please take time to read this important article, share with a friend we really need to protect our kids and remind parents that this danger is out there, never went away. We need to keep our eyes open and tell everyone we know that this going on right now!

Take the time please and read about this http://www.examiner.com/x-33498-Long-Island-Parenting-Teens-Examiner~y2010m4d13-Is-Your-Teen-Huffing

You won’t be sorry and this information just may save a life!

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Prom Is Coming!

Is your town taking as many safety measures as they can to help prevent many of the tragedies that occur on prom night? Many events happen during prom and most are not good ones! Prom night is associated with teens drinking, driving and having sex sometimes for the first time. All of these only lead to more problems and more dangers. What does your school do to help eliminate some of these? Check out this article and see what my school and local communities do.  http://www.examiner.com/x-33498-Long-Island-Parenting-Teens-Examiner~y2010m4d12-Prom-Night–Keeping-It-Safe

Then speak to your PTA and principal and start to make a difference for your teen! This is a dangerous night and the more done to prevent some of these tragic events the better!

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Choices: Is Red Bull A Drug?

Please see the first 3 choices articles for more information on this series. Book 4 in the “Scenarios Series” by Nicole O’Dell entitled “Making Waves”, reflects once again on decision making for our teens.  In this book we meet Kate who is an excellent swimmer and joins the school team. Keeping up with all her practices, church committments and school work becomes too much for Kate. She turns to Red Bull to give her more energy. She makes a promise to stop drinking it when her mother finds out and tells her the dangers of it.  The day of the championship Kate is tired and dragging. Her friends offer her the “REAL” thing a speed pill.  Does Kate take it so that she can win the championship or does she do the right thing. You can read the full article with some eye opening information on Red Bull here  http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-33498-Long-Island-Parenting-Teens-Examiner~y2010m4d3-Choices–Is-Red-Bull-A-Drug

Please stay tuned to here for the last giveaway, I will be interviewing Nicole O’Dell, which will be published on April 8th and having yet another giveaway when that article is published. You are not going to want to miss any of this so hit the subscribe button and put in your email address today!

Thank you for all your support it is very appreciated!

As previously stated Giveaway #4 will begin now!  This giveaway will end on Wednesday April 7th at Midnight EST.  You can win an autographed copy of this book by leaving me a comment below with a suggestion of a new Scenarios topic you would like to see Nicole O’Dell cover in an upcoming book.

Extra Entries can be earned by:

Becoming a Fan of Nicoles at http://www.facebook.com/nicoleodell

Subscribing to email alerts at  www.cindy-springsteen.com

Becoming a Fan of  Cindy’s Teen Advice by clicking  here http://tiny.cc/dS5ip

Following Nicole O’Dell on twitter by clicking here http://www.twitter.com/Nicole_Odell

Following me on twitter by clicking here http://www.twitter.com/CindyTeenAdvice

Tweet the following quote…(one per day)  Enter the @Nicole_Odell book #giveaways with @CindyTeenAdvice Details can be found at www.cindy-springsteen.com Please RT

As stated in 1st three giveaways if you leave a comment on each article you can earn 2 extra entries per drawing!  Thank you for your support and good luck to everyone.

Congratulations to Pauli Kate who won the autographed copy of book 1, Jen Lawrence who won an autographed copy of book 2 and Krichelle Groth who won book 3!

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Choices: Is It Stealing If…….?

Please see the first 2 choices articles for more information on this series. Book 3 in the “Scenarios Series” by Nicole O’Dell entitled “Magna”, reflects once again on decision making for our teens.  In this book we meet Molly a very sweet girl and her two friends Jes and Sara. In this book they decide they want to get a job in a clothing store in the mall that sells clothes they like.  As time goes on Molly is placed in a situation involving stealing and peer pressure. What does Molly do? Does she give into her friends pressure or does she do the right thing.  To read the full article on this book please go to: http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-33498-Long-Island-Parenting-Teens-Examiner~y2010m3d29-Is-It-Stealing-If?cid=publish_twitter:33498

Please stay tuned to here for the last book #4 in this fabulous series and next giveaway on that one!  I will also be interviewing Nicole O’Dell, which will be published on April 8th and having yet another giveaway when that article is published. You are not going to want to miss any of this so hit the subscribe button and put in your email address today!

Thank you for all your support it is very appreciated!

As previously stated Giveaway #3 will begin now!  This giveaway will end on Friday April 2nd at Midnight EST.  You can win an autographed copy of this book by leaving me a comment below with a suggestion of a new Scenarios topic you would like to see Nicole O’Dell cover in an upcoming book.

Extra Entries can be earned by:

Becoming a Fan of Nicoles at http://www.facebook.com/nicoleodell

Subscribing to email alerts at  www.cindy-springsteen.com

Becoming a Fan of  Cindy’s Teen Advice by clicking  here http://tiny.cc/dS5ip

Following Nicole O’Dell on twitter by clicking here http://www.twitter.com/Nicole_Odell

Following me on twitter by clicking here http://www.twitter.com/CindyTeenAdvice

Tweet the following quote…(one per day)  Enter the @Nicole_Odell book #giveaways with @CindyTeenAdvice Details can be found at www.cindy-springsteen.com Please RT

As stated in 1st two giveaways if you leave a comment on each article you can earn 2 extra entries per drawing!  Thank you for your support and good luck to everyone.

Congratulations to Pauli Kate who won the autographed copy of book 1 and Jen Lawrence who won an autographed copy of book 2!

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Choices “Standing up to Peer Pressure”

We all know what peer pressure is and at one point in time I think we have all felt this.   In book 2 by Nicole O’Dell we are faced with the realities of what can happen if you choose to take that path to no good.  Book 2 in the Scenarios series is called “All that glitters”  Teenagers are faced with many choices, just as we as grown-ups are faced with daily choices, so are teens. Some of our choices are very simple we choose what to eat, although this can be hard to think of new things at times. We also choose to shower, brush our hair, teeth, go to work or whatever your normal daily chores may include. For teenagers their choices include doing homework, studying for tests, listening, showering, ect. Their choices also as time goes on will include what friends they like hanging out with and are these really good friends/influences in their life.  They may not even know the differences at times, as they want to fit in.

As parents it’s imperative to know their friends, hopefully their parents and where they are and what they are doing, as much of the time that is possible. With the invention of the ever so popular with teens device called the “CELL PHONE” we are able to reach our teens. Years ago when I was a teen my parents did not know where I was or have any way to reach me. If I wanted to reach them I had to use a “Pay Phone” wow have we come a long way.  I as a parent as much as I sometimes wish today’s teens would communicate more with their voices, they seem to prefer “Texting” but as long as I am able to call/text my daugther and vice versa for updates on what she is doing I feel better.

In book 2 here a major choice for this teen must be made.  She needs to decide whether she will lie to her parents and stay out all night with her boyfriend, or choose to not lie and possibly lose him. This series has such great realistic choices that every teen will probably have to decide at one time or another.  I can not recommend these books enough, I feel that every teen should read them and see the outcomes. Even for parents they are quite eye openers from a teens point of view and what teens are feeling while experiencing peer pressure.

You can read the article on this book by clicking here http://bit.ly/bTyou4

As previously stated Giveaway #2 will begin now!  This giveaway will end on Friday March 26th at Midnight EST.  You can win an autographed copy of this book by leaving me a comment below with a suggestion of a new Scenarios topic you would like to see Nicole O’Dell cover in an upcoming book.

Extra Entries can be earned by:

Becoming a Fan of Nicoles at http://www.facebook.com/nicoleodell

Subscribing to email alerts at  www.cindy-springsteen.com

Becoming a Fan of  Cindy’s Teen Advice by clicking  here http://tiny.cc/dS5ip

Following Nicole O’Dell on twitter by clicking here http://www.twitter.com/Nicole_Odell

Following me on twitter by clicking here http://www.twitter.com/CindyTeenAdvice

Tweet the following quote…(one per day)  Enter the @Nicole_Odell book #giveaways with @CindyTeenAdvice Details can be found at www.cindy-springsteen.com Please RT

As stated in 1st giveaway if you leave a comment on each article you can earn 2 extra entries per drawing!  Thank you for your support and good luck to everyone.

Congratulations to Pauli Kate who won the autographed copy of book 1.

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